This Is Hard....

Today was a tough day, actually most days are tough lately,....it started out well, slowly had more challenges and then it exploded and I am so emotionally drained and have physical pain. I have to expect this as we have recently uprooted our entire lives and moved to be closer to family support. Change is hard for anyone, and a child with autism that change is like a tidal wave of anxiety, frustration, unknown, and just plain scary. And of course their way to express this is through controlling anything and everything they can, expressing their emotions in meltdowns, and needing everything to be just right because nothing else is in their life. I get it, but it’s really hard right now. The meltdowns are bad, and our little guy is barely even tolerating his daddy in the room nevermind talking to him. He has regressed to attaching himself to me and it scares me that we will go back to how it was where he couldn’t tolerate others interacting with him. Have I handled this perfectly, NO. Because as my late grandmother said to me, “You are human. You make mistakes.” I am not using this as an excuse, but I am human and this is hard. Even with my background and knowledge, the tough days are still tough to get through. Because I am human.

As I write this I am trying to focus on the future and see the support and better life we moved here for. But today was hard...tomorrow probably will be too.

I write this because I believe we as parents have the right to say, “Today is hard and I am struggling and I am not handling this well,” without judgement from others. Instead we should be supporting parents by listening and maybe just maybe being vulnerable as well and sharing their mistakes, because they are human too.